Jake: Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Just think of it with bacon across its back. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! [holding umbrella in rain] He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. Withnail: This is ridiculous. Withnail: For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. Me? Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. I tried not to. Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! I've already put two shilling pieces in. Withnail: Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. I think you've been punished enough. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. 1 comment. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Marwood: Withnail: Stop saying that, Withnail! Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Warm up? I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. It's society's crime, not ours. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. The movie, which ta. It's the only solution to this intense cold. [reading a newspaper] Talk:Withnail and I. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. Who is the huge spade in the bath? Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. It will pass. Marwood: Suits me. Got busted coming back through Heathrow. [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. We're coming back in here. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Marwood: [relieved] Monty! One of us has got to stay on guard. [during dinner] Marwood: Have you either of you got shoes? [staggering out] Here. A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. Sulking up the hill. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. That is an unfortunate political decision. The older order changeth, yielding place to new. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! Marwood: Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Marwood: The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Withnail: Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! It's like Greenland in here. Withnail: Good old Jake. : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. I never thought he'd come all this way. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Look at this - accident blackspot? We've got to get some booze. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. Marwood: "Withnail and I Quotes." You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Get that damned little swine out of here! Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Withnail: I must be out of my mind. Im in the same boat. Hello? But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Scrubbers! Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. Monty: Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Why trust one drug and not the other? It will pass. There is a certain. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. You merely imagined it. Marwood: We're in this cottage here. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Withnail: [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] Dont be ridiculous. Isaac Parkin: [removing his sunglasses] Waitress: You're looking very beautiful, man. Withnail: You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. What had I done to offend him? We want to get in there, don't we? Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Jake: Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. The paragon of animals! 4 Mar. Marwood: Suits me. It's got to warm up. I was merely making an observation. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. I must have some booze. You've got soup. Street: The Embalmer! Jake: Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. Hair are your aerials. [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Thought I was going for a minute. Withnail: What the f*** are you talking about? Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! We'll keep them here til they arrive. This dreadful little Israelite. Why can't I have an audition? Danny's here. Prostitutes for the bees. *Fork it*! Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Withnail: *Bastards*! What happened to my agent? Monty: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. It's like great yellow sock. save. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] Withnail: The fuel and wood situation. "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. That's what you say. How dare you. Withnail: Dealt with them? Withnail: Monty: This is ridiculous. "Here. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? ""Here. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. This ain't fancy dress." Look at Geoff Woade! Withnail: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! You won't keep us anywhere. That's politics, innit? Monty: We can't go on like this. Easily [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. Withnail: Well neither have I. There can be no true beauty without decay. I've absolutely no interest in yours. Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. The carrot has mystery. It's like Greenland in here. [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: 2023. How dare you! Withnail: Withnail: Marwood: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Marwood: You know what we should do? The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Withnail: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I demand to have some booze! A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. No need to get uptight, man. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Withnail: Old suit?! Be seated. Something's got to be done. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. The police, Miss Blennerhassett. How you feel. Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Danny: I know how you feel and how difficult it is. Of course you are! . They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. Marwood: You've got a rush. Why don't you go back? Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Then it was a rodent. Withnail: Withnail: I could hardly piss straight with fear. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Withnail: Brings back such memories of Oxford. His sister give him the idea. You need working on, boy! The thermostats. An expert on bulls you are not! I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. Marwood: Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Marwood: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! We're in danger, we've got to get out. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Monty: [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. [pulling some goo out of the sink] Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Withnail: Monty: [teary-eyed] *Scrubbers*! Isaac Parkin: Your desires. Sod your pheasants! And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. We're working on a film up here. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. Look at us! "It's gone. Withnail: Marwood: We're early. Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! There's the supper. We may as well sit round this cigarette. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Look at Geoff Woade. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. I feel unusual. This is a court, man. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Rejuvenate. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. That's worse than meths! [to Marwood] Danny: It'll pass. Withnail: In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. Marwood: Aren't you getting absurdly high? you little traitors. Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. Withnail: Half an hour? Got a randy bull up there. Withnail: You'll have to find us first. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? We've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Marwood: "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. I'm getting the *fear*! Uncle Monty: I sometimes wonder where Norman is now. I happen to be the proprietor. The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? I hope you guys like our collection. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? Be seated. They walk down to the cottage. General: Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! Street: the embalmer. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? Withnail: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Marwood: These aren't mine, they belong to him. You know what we should do? Danny: I shall miss you too. We've got to get some booze. Nor women neither. Bastard must have died. Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! What a piece of work is a man! You're out of your mind! Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. He'd like a bit of pleading. Tea Shop Proprietor: And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. There must and shall be aspirin! [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: He won't gore you. Poacher. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Just you wait! Withnail: You got to throttle him. Danny: Withnail: The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! No, his dog doesn't come up here. We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! What is it? Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Monty: This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! What are we going to do about it? You haven't got a chance! [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Let him get his drugs out. Look at that, accident black spot! [looking at a newspaper] Well neither have I. He can eat his fucking radish. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Danny: No, man. We've got to get some booze. Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Quotes.net. Do you grow? Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. How noble in reason! Here is the clip. Marwood: Well, I don't know. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. His name's Presuming Ed. Marwood: Find the exact Marwood: [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! I've been to drama school. Marwood: Oh, Baudelaire. Why don't I get any soup? [leaning out the car window] The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Monty: Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Balls! Withnail: The thermostats! Marwood: Monty: Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. What happened to my cigar commercial? Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? I think you've been punished enough. We might wanna do a film in here. I want something's flesh! Withnail is cowering under the covers]. Withnail: [pointing an eel at him] We're incompatible. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: Will we never be set free? There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. I must be ill. Monty: Withnail: This doll is extremely dangerous. I think an evening at The Crow. Danny: I want to see about digging the car out anyway. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. Trying for even more advantage. Withnail: What have you done to them? And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Monty: Here hare here! 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Here hare here? Withnail: Start shouting. Withnail: I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Then the fucker will rue the day! [pulling back the lace curtain] How *dare* you! Withnail: Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] I can't take aspirins without a drink. Danny: Withnail: The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. Withnail: What have you done to them? Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. I recommend you smoke some more grass. Scrubbers! [they stop and look at each other. Withnail: You can never, never disguise it. [casually lighting a cigarette] I know you're not asleep, boy. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! *You'll all suffer*! Eggs and things. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. You mustn't blame him. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Marwood: He had a weight under his fez. Monty: Beastly, ungrateful little swine! We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. Marwood: Withnail: God fulfils himself in many ways. He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play.
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