It sounds crazy, but I just knew. Never being able to look after himself. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. We both thought we would like some good to come out of this horrible experience, so wanted to talk to somebody about the possibility of using the body for research purposes. It was real. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. The blood test confirmed it was twins. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. So it was quite common, this is what happens. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. The hormone levels had dropped, but they wanted to scan me again. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. And they took me into another room. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans My wife turned the screen away from her. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket I didn't have a clue. The weeks since that day have been very weird. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. That was the first time I had heard him cry. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. There was cause for concern. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. This might be uncomfortable. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. I was becoming numb to the whole process. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. We didn't name him. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. It took 20 minutes to push him out. Not marginalised into being a victim. To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: psi@nationalarchives.gov.uk. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. We've got the same battle scars. hi ladies. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. . I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. That's fine. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. Try to relax and take it easy. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." You do not have to have the scan. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. Read full disclaimer. We were denying him his life. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. You can change your cookie settings at any time. The week that followed was an agonising wait. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. I hadn't thought about the mechanics of such a late termination, but had assumed it would mean some kind of operation. But worse was to come. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. SO much upset and needless angst has been caused by 'soft markers' found at scans. Only this time, no cry came. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. And how wrong could they be? So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. It was positive, and I felt elated. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. Eventually, the doctor finished the scan and said that some of the baby's measurements were very small. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. Last updated July 2017. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. I tried not to sit still for too long, because then I became too aware of the little thing inside me. Yeah - in, stomach, out. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". And thank God I did. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? My heart goes out to you OP. Some stories I hear are amazing! So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. It was exactly like the labour I had with my first child. Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. And I wish that I'd been told at that point, that somebody had actually turned round to me and said, 'Look, I'm sorry, but I think there's something very wrong.